Grandmother and Me

I've lived from no tv to listening to the Vienna State Orchestra on a little cell phone that doesn't weigh more than a pound...amazing!

Sometimes I just have to stop and shake my head at the changes in the world today.  The changes in morals, women's rights, technology, and the "oneness" of the world since my grandmother's time makes me shake my head.  My grandmother went from horse and buggy to man on the moon and when I asked her what she thought was the most important change in her life she replied, after a few minutes of thought, "Ladies no longer wear hats".

First of all, she referred to women as ladies. I haven't heard anyone call women "ladies" recently.  Second, not only do ladies no longer wear hats, neither do men unless you count the ball caps which some men wear everywhere.  (I'm old fashioned enough to not approve of ball caps or terry caps at the dining table.)

But ladies no longer wearing hats represents a sea change in attitudes women have of themselves and those society has of them.  Women today are as free to do as they wish as men....almost.  The pill freed women from unwanted pregnancy so if they wanted multiple partners, that was a new choice.  Men always had that choice.  Pants allowed women to work in factories, to be active without having to worry about showing "too much skin".  Of course, my grandmother couldn't understand how a woman could ride a horse astride as there was nothing to hold on to like the horn of a ladies' saddle under the flowing riding skirt.

My grandmother was a woman before her time and I was lucky to have her as part of my life for over 42 years.  She was an avid bridge player with many Life Master points, a fierce backgammon player who seemed to be able to "call" the number she needed at appropriate times (her great-grandson has the same ability), a wicked sense of humor and most of all a love of life and curiosity about everything!  She loved "the young" and listening to men talk as she was surrounded by women most of the time. She told me one time she wished she could have worked for a company like IBM so she could work all over the world.

She was a commanding presence whenever she walked into a room and as a child, "the look" was enough to make me behave, or stop whatever I was not supposed to be doing.  But she also loved to have me climb into her bed in the mornings and she would tell me stories of her life in the early 20th century.  She had a driver's license - number 3 in Washington, DC she always said.

When my father was courting my mother and he came to dinner, as the guest of honor he was placed at my grandmother's left, but as the food was passed to him last he often didn't get to eat much he said.  My grandmother liked her food hot, so instead of waiting until everyone was served, she would begin eating and she was a fast eater.  That meant, when she was finished she would call for the table to be cleared leaving my father hungry.  But after a few times, he learned to eat very quickly and keep my grandmother in conversation so she couldn't finish so fast.

She loved to give parties and I was always welcome to bring my friends over to her house any time.  When the University of Colorado football team went to the Orange Bowl in Miami, I invited my friends to stop in at my grandmother's house for a shower and a rest.  One morning, there were about 15 people asleep around the edge of the pool when my grandmother came out to take her morning swim - au natural.  I happened to glance out my bedroom to see her peering at the faces of the sleeping friends trying to decide if they were asleep enough for her to have her swim.  She decided not to that morning.

Since the pool was very private we all swim as nature made us, but one afternoon when I was enjoying my swim, my grandmother came in with some of her bridge friends. I called out to her to wait a minute while I got out of the pool and into the bedroom.  But she she brought her friends out and insisted it would impolite if I didn't say hello and shake their hands.  I was at the far end of the pool but she and her friends were having a grand time.  Finally they went back into the house to start a bridge game and I was able to sneak out of the pool.

Of course, on her 90th birthday, after an elegant delicious dinner with a group of friends who had come down in a bus from Indiana for the celebration the group ended up back at the house.  Grandma went into her room and everyone was saying she must be tired after her busy day, that is, until she came back out naked but wrapped in a beach towel!  "It's my birthday so I'm going swimming in my birthday suit.  Come join me".  And the entire party did!  By the light of the moon, 65+ year olds all shed their clothes and jumped into the pool.  A memorable night and hope I have that spirit and a place to swim on my 90th.